Show me what I m looking for
by lilabut
Summary: She could not bring herself to look away too often, though. The stranger had something compelling about him and Bella did not understand what exactly it was. Bella and Jacob: strangers stuck at the Aiport. But they won t be strangers for too long.
1. I’m finding it hard to resist

With all the snow and chaos and the endless reports on the news I got a little inspired. And since I don´t really like Christmas too much I thought I would brighten up my days left with a little.... smut with plot ;)

The title and the chapter titles are taken from the song _Show me what I´m looking for_ my **Carolina Liar**.

* * *

.::part 1::.

I'm finding it hard to resist

DELAYED

CANCELLED

CANCELLED

CANCELLED

CANCELLED

_Great. Just great._

That was about everything occupying Bella Swan's mind as she checked the flight board for the millionth time within the last thirty minutes and still nothing had changed – at least not for the better. Flight after flight was being cancelled due to the horrific blizzard raging outside and in the news. Horrible pictures of crashed roofs, houses buried underneath a suffocating mass of snow, blocked streets and blackouts reflected on every screen which did not inform about all the cancelled flights or ads for the numerous stores in the airport.

It was December 23rd, late afternoon and Bella regretted having agreed to come home for Christmas this year. She usually spent it alone ever since she moved to New York four years ago but the pleading tone in her father's voice had rendered her effeminate and so she had agreed to spent Christmas with her family in cold, rainy, cloudy, dull Forks, Washington instead of having a comfortable couple of days in her warm and cozy apartment.

She knew right from the start that it was no good idea.

First she had booked the flight too late and somehow, probably due to her misfortune these days, she had not managed to get a direct flight from New York to Seattle. That alone had caused her blood pressure to raise into unhealthy heights.

Apart from her general dislike towards planes and airports she hated connecting flights. Every time she had finally made herself a little comfortable in the narrow, sterile space she had to rummage her luggage together again and rush across the airport in time to catch her next flight, praying that her suitcases would end up at the same destination she was.

Second Bella had almost missed her flight in New York because of the endless traffic jam and the incapable, smelly cab driver who had apparently won his license in the lottery.

Third the guy sitting next to her on the flight was more than uncomfortable to be close to. Bella could not stop wondering if he was somehow related to the cab driver. Both of them appeared to never have heard of ´shower` or ´deodorant`.

And now Bella sat here at O'Hare International Airport, overloaded with masses of people from all over the world, all of them heading for their Christmas destination and yet nothing was moving. Everything was stuck. It felt as if there was another cancelled flight each second.

Bella was strangely thankful that she had been here for over five hours now and had the privilege of a seat – no matter how cold and uncomfortable it was. At least she did not have to wander around all the time like most of the other passengers whose flights had been cancelled, without any chance of sitting down a minute.

She ignored the pain whenever one of the ´Starbucks Palmers` stepped onto her feet because it was so crowded. She ignored her mumbling stomach and the empty ache she felt because the last thing she had eaten had been a half empty bowl of cereal this morning. She ignored her sore neck and back, her numb legs, her heavy-lidded eyes, the smell of too many people crouched into one place, the incomprehensible announcements, the horrible pictures from the news, the snoring from the man sitting in the chair next to her, the mixed conversations, curses and children cries coming from the crowd.

But one thing Bella could not ignore was the fact that she was _bored_.

If it had not been for defending her precious _piece of metal to sit on_ she would have loved to get up, stretch her tired legs so she would not die of Economy Class Syndrome. That would be the perfect Christmas gift, indeed.

Even McDonald's seemed like paradise to Bella while she sat there waiting and waiting – and Bella hated McDonald's. Probably as much as the cab driver: smelly and incapable.

Her feet tap-danced on the dark-blue carpet, her handbag trapped between them and to keep herself occupied Bella had started to observe the people passing by – or better: squeezing themselves through the crowd.

There was a red-haired, middle-aged woman standing only a few feet away, her bright pink cell phone constantly pinned to her ear and she talked faster than Jessica Stanley, the_ girl_-type of girl from Bella's former high school in Forks who was now married and, as far as Bella knew, had two sons.

The woman kept talking and talking, first to her mother, than a ´honey` of whom Bella was sure could be her husband because there was a thin, golden ring around the woman's left ring finger, then probably to a hundred friends and currently to someone who was apparently her boss. Her shrieking voice had changed to a quieter one and she was not as forward and offensive as before.

Bella wondered how long the battery would last – her own had died shortly after she had called her father telling him that he should not wait for her and that she would call as soon as she landed in Seattle.

Then there was a young couple, around Bella's age, who stood a few meters away, the blonde girl holding onto the guys arm, her head resting against his shoulder while he ran his hand through her curls. They looked oddly peaceful and oblivious to the disaster happening around them, lost in their own world and Bella did not allow her eyes to rest on them for too long – it felt too private and intimate.

A group of teenagers stood nearby, although everything Bella could clearly see was the tip of seven bright red Christmas caps. The sound of enthusiastic chatter, loud voices and laughs made it obvious that they did not let themselves be bothered by anything happening around them and that optimism infuriated Bella a little.

And then there was of course the man who was currently deep asleep and softly snoring in the seat next to Bella, his huge form crouched together, his head awkwardly leaned against the much to low backrest of the metal seat.

Bella felt a little intimated every time she looked at him – which happened more and more often – because he was literally _massive_. _Tall_. Hell, was he tall.

His skin was russet-colored and the way his t-shirt (how in the name of sanity could he wear a t-shirt at this time of the year?) revealed his rippled arms caused a shiver to run down Bella's spine. More than once she caught herself on the brink of reaching out her hand and touching his skin, _just once_.

The sheer stupidity of that thought made Bella think her maturity levels had just sunken to the ground of the ocean and she might as well put on a blinking Christmas cap and join the group of loudly chattering teenagers.

She could not bring herself to look away too often, though. The stranger had something compelling about him and Bella did not understand what exactly it was.

It drove her insane.

His cropped hair was jet black and silky and it was no good of a distraction from his arms since Bella felt the urge to run her fingers through it.

The grey t-shirt had no use in covering up his chiseled torso, either and after a while Bella started justifying herself. How the hell was she supposed _not _to look? It was his fault. He could have worn a sweater, after all.

"Damn it," she whispered to herself wit her voice full of venom as she tried to ban a very inappropriate thought out of her mind.

_If he would change into that sweater now_……..

"Stop, stop, stop!"

Bella started thinking that all stress and confusion and endless waiting today had had a bad influence on her sanity. Talking to herself was nothing she usually did.

"Ouch!"

"Sorry, I´m sorry!"

The young woman who's heel had just been drilled into Bella's left foot rushed by, not even bothering to look at Bella as she stumbled over her apology and soon disappeared in the crowd of people and bags.

"Ouch…," Bella said, quieter this time, pulling up her foot and kneading it through her old, worn-out tennis sneaker.

"Everything alright?"

Bella's heart stopped dead in her chest and the dull pain in her foot was forgotten when she heard the deep, husky voice coming from her right side and even if she had not already known from the direction she was sure she would have been able to assign that voice to the right person. It could only belong to the mystifying stranger.

_Too fitting_.

Slowly, carefully and scared of what was to come she turned her head into his direction and the first thing she saw surprised her.

She had expected to see more chiseled chest, buff upper arms, smooth, russet skin and inviting black hair. But what she saw when she gathered up the courage to _look_ at him was a pair of dark, caring and soft, warm eyes.

Staring right into her soul.

* * *

part 2 will be up tomorrow


	2. Safe me from being confused

Thank you for all your nice reviews **3**

They were a great motivation to maintain my time schedule.

* * *

.::part 2::.

Safe me from being confused

"Ehm… yes. I'm fine," Bella stuttered, intrigued by the deep, almost black pools staring at her so intently and mercilessly that she felt her mind disconnecting from her body, numb to the discomfort and slight pain.

Realization of the situation came slowly, seeping into Bella's mind like melting snow in the gaps between the red cobblestone in the parking lot next to her apartment building.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?"

"Oh, no problem. Might be for the better. I would probably have ended up missing my flight," the stranger said, the husky tone of his voice combined with the mischievous grin on his full lips so contradicting.

Like a boy trying to be a man, or like a man seeking for the freedom and ease of a child.

"I don´t think you would have," Bella said calmly, pointing to the monotone flight board and the stranger turned his head to look where her finger pointed.

The simple movement caused the muscles in his neck to twitch and before she could help herself, Bella felt the tip of her tongue stroking over her strained bottom lip.

Her saliva burned the tiny cuts and scratches there which were caused by her nervous habit of biting her lips all the time in an act of calming down.

The second the stranger turned his head back Bella retreated her tongue, unwillingly banning it into the cage of her mouth not without marvelling at the rough and defined line of his jaw.

"Oh."

"Yeah… doesn't seem to get any better soon," Bella said, trying to distract herself from the _eyes_ which now drilled into her core once again.

Did he even know what he was capable of?

"I guess I should call my father, then," he answered and reached his huge hand into his jeans pocket.

For a second Bella followed the path of his hand before she realized how ambiguous it must have looked like to someone else and she jerked her head back up, drawing in a deep breath.

The black cell phone looked awkwardly lost in the stranger's big hands, as if it might crush at the slightest movement. But something about him made Bella sure that his touch was gentle and not as harsh as his statue might indicate.

It was almost magical to observe – the way his fingers gracefully dialled the number and before the urge to release her tongue of it´s constraints again could win control Bella leaned down towards her feet and grabbed her handbag, rummaging in it as a distraction.

"Hey, Dad…. yeah. No, I'm kinda stuck here. All flights are cancelled…. No, I have no idea… might be tomorrow. Yeah… okay. I'll call you if there is something new. Okay… bye."

There was no way that her purse, her tickets, her passport, her lipstick, a scarf, chewing gum tampons, cell phone or band aids could distract her from this voice when it entered her ear and made it´s way into her core, goose bumps erupting from the nape of her neck all the way down to her lower back and Bella had to steady her erratic breathing.

"Where are you going? Or, where _were_ you planning to go?"

Taken aback by the question Bella cleared her throat hastily, dropping her back awkwardly back to the floor.

"Ehm… Seattle. And then.. Port Angeles. Washington."

His eyes widened and for a second Bella thought that he must either have never heard of Port Angeles before (which would no have been a surprise or a lack of general education) or he must pity her for spending Christmas in the most boring and rainy place in the United States.

In that second Bella even started to _feel_ again: the cold, inconvenient seat, the noise, the hunger and her aching body.

"No way!"

"Ehm.. what?"

"You can't be going to Port Angeles?"

"Why is that?"

"That´s where I'm going."

_Merry Christmas_….. that was Bella's only thought. _Merry Christmas_.

"Sorry, I'm being rude here. My name is Jacob. Jacob Black," he said politely, reaching out his hand.

_Oh god_….

"Ehm..," Bella stuttered, reaching out her own hand full of anticipation.

When their skin met she had to gather up all her strength not to overreact in any way. Pulling back or making sounds or gripping tighter.

Smooth, strong grip and…. _warm_. Too warm.

"B-bella. Bella Swan."

When Jacob retreated his hand it took Bella a couple of seconds to react, a pathetic couple of seconds in which her hand was reached out awkwardly in mid-air, holding on to nothing but thin air.

"You live in Port Angeles?"

"No… I live in New York. Just… coming home for Christmas," Bella said with a nervous and very fake smile plastered on her face and Jacob seemed to understand, the mischievous grin back and driving Bella insane.

"And you?"

Jacob cracked his knuckles and the sound was cruel to Bella's ears, spoiled by the soft husky rasping which lulled her into sort of a trance.

"I live in La Push reservation. Had some business here in Chicago. Coming home for Christmas," he said, grinning widely and Bella laughed a shallow laugh, too nervous to show actual emotion.

"La Push is beautiful," she said platonically, images of a stony beach and too green trees, waves crushing against the shore, moaning masses of water and stunning sunsets playing like a too vivid movie behind her eyes.

"You've been there?"

"My.. my father lives in Forks. So… I've been there sometimes as a child."

What was she doing? Talking about her childhood to a stranger? This was so unlike Bella. Normally she kept it guarded, to herself and alone. This was… not herself. Novel behaviour for her.

"Wait, you said your name is Swan, right? Is your father the Chief of Police?"

_Merry Christmas…_

"Yes. He is," Bella said, stunned, shocked and scared of the situation. What were the odds of meeting someone like Jacob at an overloaded airport in the middle of a blizzard?

There was silence and from the slightly astonished expression on Jacob's face Bella understood that he was as surprised by their accidental meeting as she was.

"Excited for Christmas in dull, rainy Forks?"

Jacob really seemed to be this optimistic and… sunny. Odd in comparison to where he came from. But Bella still fought against the warm tingle in her hand, where he had touched her… _sunny_. Yes. He really was.

"Scared," she said bluntly after her ears had managed to send the information that he had asked her a question to her brain and back to her tongue.

"What? You're not afraid of Santa Claus, are you?" Jacob asked with his trend mark grin, nudging Bella's shoulder softly with his elbow.

"Yeah, absolutely. You aren't?"

"Well, I'm sorry to shatter your illusion: but I'm afraid Santa Claus is a merchandise invention of Coca Cola and does not really climb through your chimney at night."

The easy, unburdened sound of his voice and the seriousness with which he emphasised his sentences tickled the first true emotion out of Bella: first a mockingly shocked and probably hilariously dumb expression on her face and then a canty laugh.

"No, seriously. What are you afraid of?"

Bella's laugh died quickly as he interrupted her happy moment.

It was strange. One moment he was such a boy, caught in this…. massive amount of muscle and sinew. And then his voice was mature and calm and drilled into Bella's core again, leaving her in silence as a puddle of mush.

"It´s just… I haven't exactly been home for… four years…So…"

Bella folded her hands in her lap, regretting to even have started this inappropriate conversation. Why could they not talk about the weather like normal people do when first meeting? Or music, or movies…..

This was not a topic she wanted to discuss. With anybody.

"What are you running away from?"

"Sorry?"

"What are you _running away_ from?"

Bella eyed him disbelievingly as he sat there, complete oblivious to the uncomfortable, too-small seat, the crowed, loud place, the rather bad chances of leaving this place anytime soon and asking a stranger about her reason for leaving home.

"What makes you think I'm running away?"

"Well, if someone leaves home so early and does not return for four years and then is scared to do so… that indicates to me that something happened that that person ran away from. Or still is."

"It´s… why are you asking me that?"

Bella was furious now and unfolded her hands, pushing them against her knees instead, watching her knuckles whitening at the force.

Jacob eyed her for a second, then he grin on his face disappeared.

"Excuse me. I should not ask such private questions."

Damn it…

"Why can't you ask me about the weather?" Bella asked with a hopefully compassionate smile on her face and before she knew it Jacob burst into laughter.

_Easy_… cheerful.

"Because you don´t do that. Asking about the weather."

"Are you always this… direct?"

"Well, I might have just asked you out for a drink. But that seems to be a medium-heavy adventure here," he said, theatrically waving his hand in a swirl.

"I wasn't sure if you were up for it."

After his laughter subsided it grew silent – or at least: in Jacob and Bella's sealed off world it grew silent. Outside there was still noise and chaos. But they were silent.

So quiet. Warm and… _fuzzy_ silence. No pressure or filling words. Just… tranquillity.

"You wanna go?"

The soft, hopeful, anticipating rasping sound reminded Bella of the ancient coffee grinder which her grandmother Marie had used every Sunday morning, the soft, warm smell practically filling her nostrils in this moment.

"Where?"

"Get a drink."

"Now?"

"Why not?"

He was right.. _why not_?

The light in his eyes was so contagious that Bella could not help herself but nod, pushing aside the million questions that filled her mind. _Where were they supposed to get a drink now? Why was she going with this stranger? Why was she giving up her safe seat?_

But when Jacob grabbed his blue backpack and rose from his seat, emphasizing how unnaturally _tall_ he really was, and stretched out his hand towards Bella with his boyish grin she could not help herself but throw her handbag over her shoulder, take his hand – seeking the mysterious warmth and softness – and letting herself be pulled gently towards the narrow crowd.

* * *

part 3 will be up tomorrow


	3. Should have done better than this

It´s just great how every year int ime for Christmas I get sick.......

Well, that could not stop me from writing this. But I don´t like how it turned out. I´m really sorry if it seems rushed or anything like that.

And again: **thank you very much** for all your reviews

* * *

.::part 3::.

Should have done better than this

"Are you coming home as a surprise?"

The touch of Jacob's smooth skin on her own pale hand was so warm and tender that Bella could not help but constantly stare at their intertwined hands, marvelling at the contrast in color and size.

_It was so distracting…._

"Earth to Bella!"

"Ehm… excuse me. What did you say?"

"I was asking if you were coming home for Christmas as a surprise," Jacob repeated patiently, his voice as smooth as his touch.

"No. My father called and… asked me to come home. My mother will be there, too. So I thought I could not leave them alone together."

"Divorced?"

"Yes. But… that was long ago. I was a baby back then. They get along pretty well. But… we never spent Christmas together before. They try really hard to get me back."

Jacob's grasp on Bella's hand tightened a little as he gracefully pulled her through a crowd of Chinese tourists, chattering loudly and although Bella understood nothing of what they were saying she understood from the way they talked. They were angry and frustrated.

Oddly enough… Bella was not anymore.

"So, just that I get it right: you left home for whatever reason, did not return for four years for said reason and are literally forced to return now even though you are scared and don´t want to?"

"Maybe… I guess I'm more metaphorically scared. There is nothing to be afraid of really."

"Then I don´t get the problem," Jacob said with pure curiosity in his eyes and voice, his head turned to the side so he could look at Bella who could not quite keep up with his pace.

Bella could not look. Could not let herself be distracted by his stare, as well.

Clumsiness was her middle name and it was already a fight not to trip while pressing her tiny frame through all those people, clinging to Jacob's hand almost desperately.

"It´s… _memories_. There will be memories and I don´t… I'm not to keen on being remember of some things," she muttered, hoping her voice would be drowned out in the noises penetrating her ears from all sides.

But he understood her more than well.

"Don´t tell me you left because of a guy?"

A stabbing twitch, the echo of a long forgotten, long choked pain crept through Bella's chest, biting at her heart in a way it had not for four years now.

Memories of copper hair, golden eyes, cold, marble skin, diamonds in the sunlight and piano playing flooded Bella's mind, memories she had for so long ignored and tried to convince herself that they were part of a long dream, of a time that was too unreal.

"Are you okay?"

A different echo reverberated in her ears, in her heart, in her every cell.

Black hair, black, caring eyes, too-warm, tender skin and the sunshine-like gloom in every tone and action.

Bella had not realized that she had stopped walking until she felt a warm pressure on her right shoulder, the warmth spreading all the way into the roots of her hair and her toes.

"Bella?"

A landslide of goose bumps and shiver ran down Bella's entire body as she heard the soft, tender tone – the melodic whisper of her name and for the first time in over four years Bella started to believe. Believe that maybe there really were other people out there who could feel as much as _he_ had, or as she had _believed_ he had.

Believe that there were more than one person meant for her, that there were possibilities and chances.

Before she could stop herself or even consciously make the decision she let her body fall forward, welcoming the soft and warm wall she met there, her hands encircling Jacob's stomach, pressing her body close to his, fisting his shirt as the tears finally, after all these years, spilled over.

Bella waited for rejection to crush her, to suck the newfound gloom of hope out of her strained mind. This was, after all, nothing a sane person would ever do. Throwing themselves at strangers like a homeless dog. But then again, when do you find such hope in the presence of that stranger?

Rejection was what Bella expected – but it never came.

Instead she felt two warm arms wrapping around her fragile frame, pulling her closer, keeping her grounded. Keeping the hope alive.

She felt herself move but could not tell how or where… or even how long. All Bella could focus on was the warm, strong, tender hold around her – a closeness and security she had not felt for so long.

But she suddenly felt her legs stop moving and everything was quiet. _Too quiet_.

Slowly and precariously she opened her eyes, her view diffuse and blurry because of all the pent-up salty tears and she hastily tried to blink the curtain away.

"Where are we?"

It was an empty hallway, clinic-like grey floor, white walls – sterile and uncomfortable. But empty and quiet.

There was never an answer .

Bella suddenly felt the ground being pulled away underneath her feet which caused her to cling even more tightly to Jacob who slowly sank to the ground, leaning against the wall, keeping Bella's shaking body close to his, her legs falling awkwardly to the each side of his thighs.

"Are you okay?" Jacob said, almost whispering, repeating his earlier question.

His finger carefully tilted up Bella's chin and when their eyes met Bella saw nothing but honest compassion which caused her heart to flutter.

Their moment was short-lived, though when Bella suddenly realized how inappropriately _close_ they were, in what kind of a position and what she was doing here.

Her cheeks blushed crimson red and in an awkwardly situated backward-move she tried to remove her unwilling body and create some distance.

But as so often she lost her balance, swaying oddly from side to side and before she could fall flat on the cold ground Jacob caught her, his hands tightly grasping her shoulders.

"I'm sorry… if I brought up anything you… that hurt you," Jacob said, slightly avoiding Bella's gaze as he looked down into his lap.

"No, no, no. Don't be sorry," Bella rushed, feeling unusually bolt and she mirrored Jacob's earlier act, tilting his chin up with her finger, smiling shyly.

"It was a good thing. You were right…. I'm running away. But…. maybe not anymore."

Confusion was plastered on Jacob's face and Bella could not hinder her short-lived and rare laughter to echo in the empty hallway.

"I was…. young. And stupid. Clinging too much and when he left… there was, of course, nothing left. Only memories that made me suffer. That´s why I left right after graduation. Because I could not stand… being around."

It was all Bella could manage paraphrasing. The truth – but not even a tenth of it.

Her version of the story, of _her story_, did not include myths and fairytales and vampires and danger.

It merely sounded like the everyday-dilemma of a teenage girl.

"Okay…," Jacob said, releasing a breath he had obviously been holding while Bella had stuttered out her story.

"Maybe it´s time to forget…," Bella whispered more to herself than to Jacob, her finger still brushing against the skin of his chin and jaw.

"What are you doing now?"

"What?"

"In New York. What was your great escape?"

There it was: the mischievous, boyish grin and Bella could not help herself but laugh, Jacob joining in soon after and Bella clutched her free hand to her aching stomach.

"Nothing, really. I'm undecided. At the moment I work in a book store. And you? What are you doing?"

"Nothing, really. I'm undecided," Jacob quoted her, theatrically shrugging his broad shoulders. "We're two pretty messed up people, he?"

Bella just nodded, amazed by the ease she felt. Previously her life had been defined by her constant inner struggle and the past she longed so much for. But now… it was just this moment, this effortlessness. _Right now_.

"Do you know my father?"

Jacob shook his head, "Not really. I guess I've seen him a couple of times. But I never talked to him in person."

"So he never put you in jail?"

Bella raised her eyebrows and pulled up the left corner of her mouth.

"Every week. _Every_ week."

"Your poor parents," Bella said, laughter suffocating her phrase and she felt a foreign tingle in her chest – like the feeling when your leg awakens after being numb for too long. A strange mixture of pain, anxiousness, anticipation and satisfaction. _Life_.

"Oh, my father would probably have put me in the basement for a week."

"And your mother? She wouldn't approve of that, would she?"

If Bella had not literally been staring at Jacob's face she would never have noticed she slight change in his expression, the splint second in which a flash of pain shot through his sunshine-eyes.

Weakness. A prove that he was _real_.

"My mother died in a car accident when I was a child.," he finally said, keeping his voice calm – the humour all but gone.

"Oh… I´m sorry."

"That was a long time ago. So… what'll the chief of police get for Christ-"

Before Jacob could finish his question Bella had leaned forward quickly before her courage had left her and the second she felt his warm, soft lips press against her own she knew that there really was a _chance_.

Millions and billions of opportunities out there. Waiting for her.

The time of years passing by was over.

* * *

The last part will be up tomorrow - some lemonade for Christmas Eve ;)


	4. I ve been waiting for you

Here it is: the last part.

MERRY CHRISTMAS OR WHATEVER ELSE YOU CELEBRATE THESE DAYS TO ALL OF YOU. HAVE AN AMAZING AND HAPPY COUPLE OF DAYS!

* * *

.::part 4::.

I've been waiting for you

Bella could feel every tiny rip, every crease of Jacob's lips as her own brushed against his, greedily, softly but still with the force of a lion killing his prey.

Her hands wandered to his shoulders, gripping tightly, fisting the scratchy material of his shirt between her fingertips as his own rested around her waist, his thumbs drawing tiny circles on her covered skin.

_Heat_… passion. And yet the tenderness of his touch.

Bella's mind was diffuse as she inhaled his woodsy, musky scent – like a fir forest and the sea.

Cautiously she parted her lips, feeling a thin layer saliva coat her bottom lips and a soft whimper escaped the back of her throat, filling the silence which was only interrupted by their erratic breathing.

Jacob's right hand inched up Bella's back, pushing up her sweater on his way, then sliding his hand back down while his fingertips pushed back the fabric, smoothening it.

Gently, daringly, Bella pressed the tip of her tongue against Jacob's upper lips, brushing it against his skin before he gave in with a soft moan, parting his lips in surrender.

They were lost then, lost in each other and lost on the feeling of their skin brushing against each other. Lost in the soft sounds which were muted in the other's mouth, lost in the heat and the tenderness.

There was as much heat in Bella's mind as she felt in her entire body, creeping up from her toes into the tip of her nose which brushed against Jacob's cheek. She could not believe what she was doing here, why she allowed herself to give into the connection she felt towards this stranger, why she found no strength – not even the _will_ – to stop this.

But with every second passing, with her hands beginning to wander down Jacob's stone-solid chest, with Jacob's hands finally slipping beneath her sweater and brushing his fingertips against her cold skin, eliciting another landslide of goose bumps and shivers, with their lips brushing heatedly against each other, their tongues fighting for dominance – with the overload of feeling and emotion the doubt in Bella's head started to fade away, burn away, suffocated in the ashes of her sanity.

_There was no way to stop._

Ending their journey at the hem of Jacob's grey t-shirt, Bella's hands stopped dead and with all her will she pulled away from their kiss, Jacob's head following her for a second, trying to reconnect their lips.

Releasing a long-held breath Bella opened her eyes, seeking the dark pools of care and compassion. And there they were, staring at her in wonder and… _desire_.

Bella smiled shyly, feeling her blood rush into her cheeks as her fingers grasped the hem of Jacob's shirt, coyly beginning to pull it upwards.

Within a splint second Jacob's warm hands were wrapped around Bella's wrists, freezing her actions.

"Are you-"

But yet again Bella interrupted and silenced Jacob with a kiss, continuing with determination to pull up the shirt while Jacob's hands moved from her wrist up her arms, kneading her skin gently.

They broke the kiss again as Jacob stretched out his arms and Bella pulled the shirt over his head, dropping it on the floor next to them, her hands hovering over his heated, russet chest. She felt intimidated and amazed – in fact she was scared to touch his chiselled chest.

Laughing quietly Jacob rested his hands above Bella's, his finger dipping in between Bella's and he gently pushed her hands down on his skin. Bella could feel his heart pounding beneath their intertwined fingers.

Before she had the chance to reconnect their lips, Jacob had dropped his head towards Bella's neck, brushing his lips against her sensitive skin like the wings of a butterfly, like a whisper in the wind.

A rush of heat ran through Bella's body and she bravely began to stroke her hands up and down Jacob's chest – carefully and still in awe of the solid yet smooth touch.

Jacob parted their hands and pressed his right palm flatly against Bella's stomach, his nose nudging against the shell of Bella's ear. She whimpered again, pushing her hands more firmly against Jacob's stomach, feeling the muscles twitch underneath her touch and when Jacob took her earlobe between his teeth she moved closer to him, pushing her hips closer to his – yet not close enough.

While his teeth nibbled and his tongue stroke Bella's ear, his hot, damp breath tickling her sensitive skin , Jacob's hand pushed up her sweater, his fingertips brushing against her bare stomach.

Impatience overcame Bella at the feel of his touch against her bare skin and she pushed away Jacob's hand, roughly grabbing the hem of her sweater and pulling it over her head, the hair tie holding together her loose ponytail disappearing together with the dull, red sweater and her hair fell freely over her shoulder.

Without another word Jacob dropped his head to Bella's collarbone, drawing wet circles with his tongue, his right hand buried in Bella's long, brown hair, fisting it and pulling gently at it so Bella's head fell slightly backwards, exposing more skin to his eager mouth.

His left hand wandered up and down her side, tickling her, feeling her soft skin, every now and then nudging the bottom of her white bra. Every time Bella scooted closer, trying to get his hand higher, seeking his touch.

She could not get close enough, _near _enough.

Her own hands still caressed Jacob's chest, the tips of her fingers brushing against every ripple and every rise and fall she found.

When Jacob's tongue brushed against the hollow at the base of her throat a moan echoed in the empty hallway and Bella pressed herself against Jacob's chest, their hips grinding together. The sensation caused Bella's hands to almost claw at Jacob's shoulders and finally his hand cupped her cotton-covered breast, his thumb gently brushing over the top which caused an electric current to run through Bella's body, making her hips circle above Jacob's.

She rested her head against his shoulder, too weak, too numb of the sensation to move or do anything at all. She was paralysed by everything Jacob did, by everyplace he touched her.

All she could do was grind her middle against his, the friction it created almost unbearable and when Jacob's thumb dipped beneath the fabric of her bra, sin on skin, Bella pressed her lips gently against his throat, feeling his pulse beneath her trembling lips.

The hand which had been buried in her hair now travelled down her spine, Bella's body shaking at the feeling and her eyes fell closed as Jacob unclasped her bra, his fingertips trailing further up, reaching her shoulders where he again dropped butterfly kisses around the straps of her bra, trailing them down Bella's arms.

The thin piece of cotton fell in between them and Bella suddenly felt nervous as Jacob gently pushed her away from him. She felt the urge to cover herself but when she looked into his beautiful face she found his eyes staring right into hers and nowhere else.

He smiled. A content, almost shy smile and he brushed his fingertip against her crimson red cheek bone. As Bella mirrored his smile he ghosted his finger over her nose, playfully nudging the tip, across her slightly parted lips, her jawline, her throat, her collarbone and when he reached the valley between her breasts Bella's eyes fell closed and she sighed a little too loud for it to still be innocent.

While his hands explored her bare breasts Bella tried to gather her concentration as her own fingertips slowly inched down his stomach, her lips gently, almost lovingly brushing against his own.

Just as Jacob brushed his fingertip across her nipple and the familiar rush of heat flushed through her every cell, Bella reached the belt of his jeans, clumsily fumbling with it. _Desperately_ trying to open it.

Jacob broke their tender kiss and stopped his movements on Bella's breasts which caused her to whimper at the loss of warmth.

He looked into her eyes with admiring question and when Bella smiled with all the determination she had he once again rested his hands above hers and guided her – their joined hands managing to open the belt.

Jacob retreated his hands and softly caressed her exposed skin as Bella's trembling fingers opened the button and pulled the zipper down – all the time her heart pounding hard like drum.

To make it easier for Bella to take off his jeans Jacob lifted his hips, his right hand supporting his weight while the other stroked up and down Bella bare back, feeling every ripple of her spine and every goose bump his touched caused.

As Bella slowly inched her fingers beneath the waistband of the jeans, causing every muscle in Jacob's abdomen to twitch, he pushed of his shoes, kicking them away without care.

His eyes widened then as Bella stared to pull the fabric down – not just the jeans but his boxers, as well.

Their gazes met and Bella continued when she saw the surprise but desire in Jacob's eyes.

She kneeled next to him, pulling both the heavy jeans and the black boxers down his legs, her fingertips gently brushing against every inch of exposed skin and when she had pulled them all the way down, along with his socks, she dropped them and stood up.

She saw the slight feel of exposure in Jacob's eyes as she stood there next to him and she smiled again, slipping out of her tennis shoes, bending down to pull off her socks and then straightened herself again.

Jacob knew what she was doing – she saw it in his eyes as he watched her full of anticipation.

With trembling hands Bella undid the button of her own jeans, pulling down the zipper, the rough feel of the edges more apparent then ever before.

She was nervous, in fact she could not recall a single occasion in her life when she had been more nervous than she was right now, standing in an empty hallway at an airport, a very naked stranger sitting below her while she peeled her legs out of her jeans, her hands awkwardly resting against her stomach as she stepped out of the scratchy pool of fabric at her bare feet.

Jacob's hand reached out, sensing the nervousness in her eyes and movements and he brushed his skin gently across her calf, all the way up to her knee and back down, his thumb nudging her ankle before travelling back up.

Deciding that a long wait would only make her heart pound faster and her cheeks blush redder Bella hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her panties and pulled them down until they met Jacob's hand at her knee.

Bella's entire body trembled as he pulled them the rest of the way down and she almost lost her balance as she raised her feet to step out of the white cotton.

To her it was a miracle how she managed to lower herself onto her knees next to Jacob without falling down, his hands cupping her burning face.

Their lips met in a soft and tender kiss, no urgencies marking the gentle touch of their lips.

Bella rested her hands around Jacob's neck, holding on to him while his tongue gently brushed against her eager lips and she moved her thumbs in formless swirls on his smooth skin.

Her breath hitched in her throat as his hands travelled down her sides, gently nudging her breasts before stroking flatly down her stomach, his index finger dipping into her navel which caused Bella to moan into Jacob's mouth, the desperate sound muffled there by the damp heat.

When Jacob's hands gently moved up and down the inside of Bella's thighs she knew this would happen – she could not stop herself.

He would not be her first – there had been others, times she had tried to forget the pain in her heart. But she barely remember those times. None of them had meant anything to her.

But this… the way Jacob smiled against her trembling lips, the pure admiration in his eyes, the way his shaking hands moved closer and closer to Bella's core, the numbness in every part of her body where he did not touch her… Bella knew this time was different.

Her fingernails dug deep into Jacob's skin as his hand finally touched her slick heat and she pressed her body as close to him as possible, clinging to him for dear life as he softly brushed his fingers against her skin.

She broke their kiss and saw the pure desire in Jacob's eyes, knowing all too well that he saw the same emotion in her own.

Careful not to loose balance Bella lifted her leg and straddled Jacob's thighs again, his hand never leaving the centre of her desire.

Between her heavy breathing Bella managed to form a barely audible sentence, her eyes fixed on Jacob's.

"Do you have…?"

Jacob nodded before she could end her phrase and his unoccupied hand moved from her hip to his long forgotten backpack. Bella focused on his face while she heard fumbling and rummaging next to her. The onyx of his eyes, his defined jawline, every single deep black lash and his full lips, coated in a thin film of saliva.

Again her tongue escaped the restraints of her mouth, feeling her slightly swollen bottom lip.

Bella heard foil being ripped apart and then Jacob's warm hand retreated from her centre, although she could still feel the warmth close by.

She never looked down, afraid that the too vivid image of what she was doing would scare her or bring back the doubts and so she shut her eyes as her lips reconnected with Jacob's and he closed his hands around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

When his tip pressed against her entrance Bella felt Jacob hesitate and before he could break the kiss to ask again – to make her _think_ more, to remind her of _how wrong_ this was – she pressed her lips more firmly against his and began to lower herself onto him.

Jacob groaned into her mouth, his grasp around her waist tightening almost painfully and Bella whimpered at the feeling, pressing her thighs closer around his body, needing to be closer, deeper.

"_God_…," Jacob whispered against her lips as he slowly pulled away, his hands moving from her waist to her thighs and he touched his forehead against Bella's as she started to move carefully.

She had been right. This was different from the times before. It still hurt but she felt the connection now. The deeper meaning. The subtle feel of _completeness_.

Her hands clung to him, their foreheads resting against each other's as Jacob affectionately nudged his nose against Bella's, his hands gently caressing the soft, creamy skin of her inner thighs as Bella rocked against him, their stomach touching, their bare skin brushing softly and the only sound filling the empty hallway being their heavy breathing, soft moans and whimpers and their pounding heartbeats.

It was over too quickly. Bella felt Jacob's body tense violently beneath her and she rocked faster, grinding herself against him, pressing her lips against his as she felt him release, his groan suffocated by her soft lips.

His body twitched for another minute and both of them tried to steady their breathing as they gently brushed their lips against each other's, not really kissing but touching tenderly.

Jacob's hands wrapped around Bella's back then and pulled her closer to him, her head dropping into the crook of his neck and she felt their hearts pounding in their pressed-together chests.

"I'm sorry…," Jacob whispered in her ear as he pushed back her hair which clung to her sweaty face and Bella raised her head to look at him, her hands pressed against his chest.

"For what?" she rasped confused, her voice numb and strained, her brain incapable of giving the right orders.

"You didn't…"

If Bella had not seen it so clearly she would not have believed it. Jacob blushed, his russet cheeks tinted with a darker red and Bella smiled at the sight, nuzzling her nose against his neck as she tried to speak.

"Don´t apologize. It´s okay."

"But –"

"Shhh," Bella whispered, pressing her lips against his salty skin, her eyes closed. She heard Jacob inhale as if he was still determined to speak but then he was silent and brushed his fingertip against her closed eyelids, pulling her close to himself.

"_Thank you_," Bella muttered and as she sat there pressed against Jacob she knew that from now on she would _live_ again, finally try to see and take all the possibilities she was given.

The content smile on her face as Jacob pressed his lips against the top of her head was as luminous and sunny as Jacob's had been.

Sunshine… after almost half a decade of darkness and moonlight.

_Something told her it would not pass too soon._

_

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_Thank you again for all your great reviews. _  
_


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